AND ANYONE NOT LIVING BY THIS PHILOSOPHY OUTLINED BELOW...IS A NARCISSIST ON A DANGEROUS EGO TRIP THAT IS GOING TO USE THEIR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU TO EXERCISE POWER, CONTROL & DOMINATION OVER YOUR LIFE!
I am not any 'husband of the year' role model (as we Scorpios DO have our flaws)...but since I HAVE been married from the age of 19 and for 29+ years now to the same woman (longer than most other younger & even many older people I know - most of whom have had at least 1 failed marriage already) with four happy, healthy beautiful children from our union ...I might be doing something right, so perhaps my words could be useful...
#1 - Never marry a materialistic person, if they are with you to see how much they can get OUT of you...get rid of them...but ALSO...do not give your life to someone just because they 'love' you...if by being with them you have to live BELOW the standard of living you grew up enjoying....because if someone truly 'loved' you...they would NOT want you to have a LESSER standard of living just to be with them, you deserve the SAME standard of living you were accustomed to or better....so if I loved a girl but knew I could NOT provide her with the life she was accustomed to (UNLESS she truly WANTS to live a life of fewer comforts - not just to please you - then that is different) ...I would leave her for someone else to woo her who loves her who COULD.
No parent wants to see their child live a sub-standard life just because their spouse is a 'nice person'....that shit does not fly in the real world...when you are a parent yourself you will be able to understand my perspective....'love' does not put food on the table...someone who is a capable provider does (and they should ALSO have love in their heart for you)...and if my daughters want to devote themselves to being mothers & housewives they should have that option, and NOT 'have' to work to 'make ends meet'.....also if they both want to be career women and work their asses off with barely any free time for themselves...that is an option they should have also....and they WILL choose whomever as partner THEY want in life, no-one has a right to choose a spouse for them.
#2 - Never be an insecure freak in your relationship, accept the brutally honest FACT - that IF your spouse wants to cheat on you - they CAN and they WILL, and there is NOTHING you can do to stop it from ever happening, so don't even bother making an ass of yourself trying to stop it (which is different from actively encouraging it mind-you), but the more you think you are 'stopping them' - the more you are actually making them determined to get back at you and really do it. I lose no sleep over such concerns, either we have trust or we do not, end of story.
Two trees CAN grow up side by side - but one tree CANNOT grow in the shade of the other, they both need their own personal SPACE to grow, though their roots CAN (and should be) lovingly intertwined beneath the surface...STOP SMOTHERING YOUR PARTNER AND USING THE LAME EXCUSE THAT IT IS 'LOVE'....no it is not - it is childish AND annoying as hell.
#3 - Never become a control freak (whether 'religious' or not), your spouse does NOT have to ask you permission to go anywhere, talk to anyone else, dress however they want to, or report to you everywhere they went, and tell you everyone they were in the company with, they do not have to tell you all their social media/email account passwords, or give you access to their phone, if they WANT to they can, but you have no right to demand they do so...if you don't trust them and think they are hiding something from you - do you honestly think they will stop by appearing to give in to your demands? All they will do (if they are hiding) is find other ways to hide what they are doing. ...Do you own them or something? Who the ass are you to treat them like your slave or your servant? Did your stupid religion teach you that you 'rule' your wife and children or some crap so?
My wife can travel by plane to other countries alone when she wants to and her phone and social media/email passwords are her private business (as are mine), and I do not even bother her by checking in on her every day when we are countries apart, I know IF there was some important need for her to get in touch with me - she will do so (and Vice-Versa), I do not have to be a clingy baby checking up on her daily...we are both adults.
#4 - IF you have problems, keep it VERBAL and civilized, talk them through, and try 100 times to find an amicable solution (especially if children are involved) BEFORE you give up on the relationship (unless your life is in danger)...never resort to physical violence if you have gone so low as to hit each other like common animals - it is time to separate, no intelligent person thinks a spouse is worth jail, and unless you are a complete failure in the dating pool, a spouse is the EASIEST thing to replace, so just walk away PEACEFULLY and find new love with someone more civilized... it's NOT a big deal.
BUT MOST OF ALL - REMEMBER A FAMILY IS A TEAM OF EQUAL SOULS, NOT A PYRAMID WITH THE FATHER AT THE APEX AND EVERYONE ELSE BELOW HIM LIKE HIS SERVANTS!
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